


A Hero's Heaviness, A Hero's Happiness

by potashiamu



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Complete, Destiny, Dogs, F/M, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Link (Legend of Zelda) Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Post-Breath of the Wild, Post-Calamity Ganon, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Selectively Mute Link (Legend of Zelda), Short & Sweet, Sign Language, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:47:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26676907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potashiamu/pseuds/potashiamu
Summary: Even once destiny is fulfilled, a hero's sense of duty doesn't disappear. Sometimes, it just becomes heavier. Trying to understand the weight he still feels even after Ganon's been sealed, Link returns to where it began for him. But perhaps he didn't even need to leave home to find out whether healing is possible. (BOTW and very wholesome, I promise.)
Relationships: Link/Zelda (Legend of Zelda)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	A Hero's Heaviness, A Hero's Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a narrative based in someone’s stream of consciousness. It was very difficult, but a pretty cool experience because I got to use some of my own thoughts and feelings as I played BOTW. I would love to know how it came across for you. And shout-out to the MVP of writing music, I definitely abused the youtube replay button on the ’10 Hours of Shrine Music’ video while writing this.

It’s not better.

The heaviness, the weight sitting just behind my ribs. It’s not better.

…I think it’s worse.

Not sure what else I was expecting by coming here. Actually, I think the new darkness is what’s making it worse. Last time I was here, this place was still alive. It gave me the One-Hit Obliterator.

That was pretty fun. The Obliterator felt a lot different from the Mater Sword. Both always telling me what to do, but the Obliterator was all about chaos, no destiny. Even though it’s all done with, the Master Sword still has the heft of a burden.

It’s not that I hate it… it’s the best weapon I’ve ever carried. It’s just that…

Its weight is the same… it’s the same as this heaviness.

…Maybe I can stop using it now. The Deku Tree might be willing to take care of it until whoever gets this soul next needs it.

I’m so tired.

I wonder what would happen, if I climbed into this pool again, now. Although it doesn’t look like it’s working properly anymore. Is that because it knows it’s no longer needed? Maybe it just needs to be repaired. Or, is it because it was only ever meant to keep me alive?

Zelda probably knows. She still remembers almost all of the research she did. Pretty incredible.

No, I know she knows. It was in her research journal—still haven’t told her I read her diary too, she will _not_ be impressed—I think I remember her writing that the Shrine of Resurrection was built as a sort of medical facility. So, not just for me. 10,000 years ago, perhaps whoever had this soul then, needed it too.

So weird. I feel completely unspecial and yet I still think everything somehow revolves around me.

So tired.

If I sleep now, it’s fifty-fifty that I’ll have a few hours without this heaviness. In this place though, maybe nightmares are likelier.

Zelda’s been so kind about it. Even though she looks more terrified than I feel when I wake her up with my screaming.

That’s exactly why she should go live with Impa. Zelda’s too kind about all of it. Too nice to me. But what else could she truly feel, other than disappointment? Maybe she’s even grown to hate me…? It’s hard for me to tell with her.

The hope on her face when she’d asked me if I really remembered her. How her shoulders sagged when I’d had to tell her… not really. Being able to recall a handful of excursions we went on together amounts to nothing, especially not when she still sees who I used to be.

How can I be that person again? I want to be that man so badly.

We almost talked about it, before I left. But I don’t think either of us really want to know if everything about Link other than great swordsmanship died along with the rest of the Champions.

I’m not jealous of them anymore. I hate that I ever was. They spent a century with their souls caught in limbo. Tormented for a hundred years. I only have to make it through the rest of my lifespan.

Zelda will never admit to resenting those hundred years she remembers so well that are just a black void for me. But how can she feel otherwise? How can I think of myself as anything other than lucky, when being able to remember hurts her so much?

She deserves to be happy. I’d do anything to let her be happy.

She can’t be happy while living with a ghost. She’ll be safe in Kakariko Village, too. But it feels really strange, to still want to protect her, knowing that it’s me she needs protecting from. An anchor can keep a boat safe at the right moment, but if it’s not put away when it’s no longer needed, then it can even sink the ship. It’s just dead weight.

…I _do_ wish I could remember everything. Even though the prospect terrifies me. I _know_ remembering would hurt. Remembering holding Zelda as she wept in my arms broke my heart. And that was only a single moment for me, disconnected from what happened to us before, what happened to us after.

But even if it means more heartbreak, I still want to remember.

I’d remember just so I can honour everything that was lost. So I can grieve. And because I don’t want Zelda to have to remember alone.

And maybe if I remembered, this heaviness would make more sense.

But I don’t see how I will, when I only could because of those photos. What if I can never remember anything more, on my own? What if… what if this is it?

…I don’t think I want to sleep here. Not sure if this was a bad idea necessarily, but definitely not as helpful as I prayed it would be.

Goodbye, Shrine of Resurrection. Not sure when… or if I’ll be back here. But I am grateful to you. I just don’t want to stay any longer.

***

Hm, I managed to make a pretty decent fire this time. So nice and warm… finally I’m feeling sleepy. Even though this is more out in the open… camping like this under the stars, especially when they feel so close on the Plateau… I forgot how calm it could be.

I wonder if the Sheikah Slate will stop working soon, like some of the Shrines have. I hope not, ‘cause I’d really miss it. Even though it’s telling me it’s past 2:00 a.m. I want to scroll through my pictures. I hope I can always see them again when I want to.

Haha, that lynel really _was_ huge. Rude, too. He deserved being sniped at with bomb arrows. Although, come to think of it, hadn’t that also been when it started raining out of nowhere? Right. I would’ve had a lynel arrow buried in my brain if not for Daruk’s Protection, once I slipped off that cliff-face. Still, a pretty great adrenaline rush.

Zelda hasn’t explained exactly what she meant when she said she was watching over me the whole time. I reeeeaaaally hope she didn’t mean it literally… otherwise she’ll have seen every time I ate shit trying to climb on things I definitely shouldn’t have been climbing on…

And every time I ate shit shield surfing…

Oh, Goddess. Did she see me shield surfing?!

And what about that time that I cooked wood and ate it just to see if I’d feel full…

…Or me tricking that dumb guy who thought I’d date him, when I just wanted his sand boots…

…That entire afternoon I spent cutting grass just so I could find some restless crickets…

…Fighting off that one Yiga clansman with a soup ladle…

…Setting that whole Akkala hillside on fire trying to get the Blue Flame to the Tech Lab…

…Or… all those times I blew myself up with remote bombs because I mis-clicked on the Sheikah Slate…

…

Argh! Forget about lost memories and the weight of destiny. _This_ is the type of thing that’s going to keep me awake forever!

…Now, how can I figure out if Zelda saw any of that, without actually asking?

***

No… more sleep. Don’t wanna get up yet. Just… a little while longer…

…Something smells nice. Hm… floral. A lily smell? Silent Princess? I don’t remember seeing any around here when I made camp though. I should check because if they can survive the trip back, I know Zelda would love some.

Wait. What’s that rustling coming from behind that deadwood?

“Yahaha! You found me!”

Just a Korok, what a relief. Heh. Is that a mini twig-sword it’s wielding?

“Oaki?” Wow. My voice sounds so strange. His name just came out, I guess I was too surprised to think about it…

Ugh. Now that I’m aware of it, it feels like my throat is closing up. Oh well. The Koroks never hassle me about not being able to speak much anyway. Them, and Zelda.

“Yup yup! It’s me. How’re you doing, Mr. Hero?”

Nope, no voice. Not even for my little friend.

Hopefully this smile makes it look like I’m doing just fine.

“Do you like what I did with your hair? Hehe.”

Even with that mask, I can just see Oaki’s mischievous little smirk. What was he up to while I was sleeping? Feels like a flower, tucked behind my ear. A Silent Princess. The rest, all my hair, is braids and knots.

 _Thanks a lot_. Oaki is usually pretty good at understanding my sign language. I wish I could keep the smile off my face and look more cross. But there aren’t many Koroks around Hateno Village now and… I’m really missing them. I missed Oaki in particular. _I’m going to have to wear my hood all the way back home so people don’t think I’m crazy._

“What do you mean? You look great!” His giggle is so fae. Oh, he’s learned how to turn himself into fairy lights! He’s really grown up a lot since he needed an escort to the Shrine. Still. He’s no heavier than a bird sitting on my shoulder. Even though he smells like he’d be made of wood and earth.

“Okay, okay. I’ll help you out, Mr. Hero.”

_Wait, I want a picture first._

Argh. How does this self-facing camera mode work again? Is this the button? Whoops. No, that’s not it. Here…?

Haha, wow. That’s quite the little nest Oaki’s made. Such a statement hairdo demands a corresponding, dramatic pose.

It’ll probably make Zelda laugh if she sees this photo. Maybe I should show her.

I always forget how dexterous the Koroks are. Oaki seems like he’s already half done. I’ll hold the Silent Princess in place so he can leave it where it is.

“Mr. Hero, where’s your girlfriend?”

So direct! Little bugger. My face feels hot.

_She’s not my girlfriend. She’s the princess. And she’s at my house in Hateno._

And on second thought: _don’t go there and pull a bunch of pranks, alright?_

Ow. Those fairy lights are pretty bright when they’re right in your eyes. I guess he’s switching shoulders to get the rest undone.

“Hehe. I won’t. But only if you let me hang out with you for a while.” Ah, he’s so cute. I’m glad he surprised me here, it’s so nice to see him again. “I’ll get in less trouble with my mom if she knows I was with you.”

_How is Tasho?_

“Boring! But fine. We’re all fine. Say, Mr. Hero, what’re you up to out here? Looking for something?”

Hm. How should I answer?

_I just needed to clear my head._

“What’s your head full of?” I think he’s joking but…

I feel that heaviness again.

I’ll just leave it at a shake of my head. No need for details. Especially not with such a sweet thing like Oaki.

It might be about time to head back. I told Zelda I’d be back by dinnertime on the fourth day and this is my third morning away. Two days to get out here… but, I was riding at a trot, and took that detour over Mount Rozudo into Bubinga Forest...

If I don’t avoid Fort Hateno and let Epona canter, I can be back in one day. I know it’s my house and I can return whenever I want, but maybe Zelda is enjoying her alone time? I don’t want to drop in on her prematurely. Should I hang around here for a bit more?

If I cut it too close I can always risk using the Slate to get to Myahm Agana’s Shrine… last time I checked it looked like everything was still in good working order, it would probably be fine…

Oaki feels like he’s waiting for me. I guess there’s no reason not to leave now. I’ll just take my time getting back. There’s certainly no reason to stay on the Plateau any longer.

***

I wish I could remember what this used to look like. Was I ever stationed here? I guess not… not if I was headed for the ranks of the Royal Guard. I probably wouldn’t have done duty in somewhere like Gatepost Town. But it’s driving me crazy that I can’t be sure.

No one I used to work with. Well, I guess other than the Champions. And Zelda. But no one else. No one I ever trained with. My dad. My mom.

I can’t remember a single one of them.

That’s a cute tune Oaki is singing. I need to be careful not to make him worry about me. Epona already feels tense, she probably knows something’s up. Maybe she can even feel this heaviness in me… maybe somehow I’m harder to carry around.

I need to stop.

Just because Calamity Ganon is sealed for this generation, doesn’t mean there aren’t people still counting on me.

Numb it. Numb it and shove it down because you can’t fall apart.

So heavy.

No, I need to stop.

I’m so heavy, though.

And so tired.

***

Ha! Bullseye. Eat that, ugly Bokoblin piggy. And, goodbye. Try tooting your horn now, porker!

Oh? Want more? Boom. Don’t keep barrels of explosives around if you don’t want me detonating them in your faces. Especially not if you can’t keep from harassing travelers.

Don’t you know there’ll be no more Blood Moons? This is it for you guys. You should have kept to hunting wild—

Shitshitshitshit I did _not_ hear you behind me. Stupid Moblin archer… aaaand… bam. You’re not going to hear anything ever again, either.

Wait, crap… where’s Oaki?

Ah. Sitting on Epona’s rump like nothing is happening. Heh. He’s so brave now. So unphased. But we’d better keep this a secret from Tasho or neither of us will ever hear the end of it.

…No. I’m not going to unsheathe you. I don’t need you right now. I don’t want to need you ever again. I took care of that entire camp and all I needed were a few arrows. Just… leave me alone.

***

“Pew! Pew pew pew! Twang! BOOM!”

Is Oaki re-enacting me taking out that camp? Adorable.

 _You’re very brave, Oaki_.

Heh, what a feisty growl. I really can’t believe this is the same little Korok that used to be so terrified of ghosts.

Maybe it’s the peace.

Things really have been peaceful.

It was simpler for me when they weren’t, but that’s okay. I’d die a thousand times so things could stay peaceful like this.

Death is the easy part, though. Its own kind of peace.

It’s this heaviness that I’m worried I’m not strong enough for.

…I’m worried it’s going to make me crack.

If I could remember who I was before, would I see I already have cracked?

Crap. I didn’t hear what he just said.

_What was that?_

“Listen up, Mr. Hero! I was just saying that I’m going to tell everyone about how cool Mr. Hero is, how you’re still protecting the realm from monsters—”

 _Tasho will hunt me down if you tell her I took on a Bokoblin camp with you right there._ _She’d be my scariest enemy yet._

“Hmm… Okay, it’ll just be our secret. I won’t tell. But only if you promise to come visit our forest soon. And a lot. A lot of visits, all the time.”

 _I promise_.

“It’s silly to hear Mr. Hero talk about being scared though. That’s baby stuff. _I_ never get scared anymore.”

Heh, he’s puffing out his chest but it just makes his little belly look rounder.

 _There’s nothing wrong with being scared_.

“Oh yeah?” So cheeky.

I want to tell him that there’s nothing wrong with being scared… I feel scared all the time.

But Oaki needs the infallible, unshakeable Mr. Hero. I’ll be strong for him.

***

Sooo hungry. So hungry! If that’s Dueling Peaks Tower, then I know there are a couple cooking pots off the road near here… nice. Food time!

Hm… it’s also close to…

Forget it. Not with Oaki here and not while I’m starving!

 _Hungry_?

“Why? What’re you going to eat?”  
  
_Probably a mushroom skewer._

“Hm, no thanks. Sounds kind of boring. Anyway, I think I should go back to the forest. I don’t want to get into too much trouble.”

_Already? Will you be safe?_

“Don’t worry! I’m big and strong now. Nothing will hurt me. See ya!”

Did he even see me wave? Man, those fairy lights can move so fast. I really have nothing to worry about. In fairy light form I could hardly catch a Korok and that was _with_ me trying hard.

Heh, he’s already out of sight.

***

Deeeelicious! Totally worth it, even though I thought my stomach was going to cave in there at one point. Even simple meals like this can be tasty. In fact, it’s when you get a little too elaborate with the ingredients that things go sideways and get dubious. But good food makes everything better.

That’s right. Zelda told me I hum when I cook. A little embarrassing, only because it’s her. But she seemed to think it was cute…

…I hate how when I’m not thinking about it, my voice works just fine. But when I actually _want_ to use it…

I guess cooking, right before I’m about to eat tasty food, I do feel happy then. And it’s been nice cooking for Zelda too, when she likes everything I make so much.

…I’ll miss her when she leaves.

I still have to figure out the right way to suggest she go to Kakariko… not that I’ll be able to get the words out. But I can’t give her the impression she’s been a burden or that I don’t like her company. It’s just the opposite.

Maybe she’ll be so relieved that it won’t matter how I phrase it…?

And then? Once she leaves?

Feels weird to have to plan like this, just for myself. No quests or missions anymore.

I guess I could keep traveling, no need to stay in Hateno. Sounds like I already owe a visit to the Korok Forest. And I could always get rid of more Bokoblins… go to Karusa Valley and make sure the Yiga are all gone, permanently. And I need to return the Thunder Helm to Riju, now that things are settled.

…That’s as good a plan as any.

No matter what, I can’t burden Zelda with this heaviness. I can’t be that selfish. Not when she’s suffered so much. And continues to suffer, because of me. Because I can’t remember.

But I’m starting to feel like I’m not strong enough to carry it alone.

Which just means it’s the exact right time to make sure I _am_ alone.

It’s okay, Epona. I’m okay. I can see you’re worried for me. I’m sorry.

I’m just… feeling heavy again.

Maybe…

Maybe it would help…

I have the time… and I’m already here…

***

I hate the feeling of wet pants, wet boots are even worse. The boots I can probably leave on the shore, but I don’t think it’s respectful to approach a Spring in just your underwear. Although maybe that would get the Goddess’s attention.

The Spring of Courage is so much warmer than the Spring of Wisdom was. Even I had problems just standing on the shore, in dry gear. And yet poor Zelda was strong enough to stay in the water in just a ceremonial dress for hours…

Why did you let her suffer so much, Hylia? Zelda tried so hard for so long to awaken her power. She came to you, and you were silent.

Will you stay silent for me too? Now that I don’t need any more blessings… now that Ganon’s sealed away again.

…I’m sorry. I’m wrong to be angry with you, when you _have_ given me blessings. And those helped me keep Zelda safe again. It also seems a little hypocritical to rage about everyone who died in the Calamity, when I’m the one who can’t even remember who any of them were.

…I’m sorry, because I need one more blessing.

I’m not brave enough.

I don’t think I have the courage to bear this. This weight. And this void, of not remembering. I know I have to do it alone… but… please… I can’t…

Please give me the courage to live.

So I can be useful. So I can stop disappointing Zelda.

Please give me courage,

Please give me courage.

***

What should I do?

If I want to detour through Bubinga Forest and Mount Rozudo, I’ll have to board Epona at the Dueling Peaks Stable again, and she was already mad at me for not taking her back to Hateno with me the first time. There’s still too many Bokoblin camps in the area for me to feel safe letting her wander back on her own…

But the only way I can take her back with me is through the Fort.

…It’s just another place. No more or less haunted than the ruins of Castle Town, or the Temple of Time. I need to get over myself and stop avoiding it.

After all, I didn’t even _technically_ die there.

No, I know that’s not it.

I’m not afraid of death.

I’m afraid of that feeling.

Failure.

Mmn—that hurts. My heart hurts.

I’ll never make it up to her. Failing to keep her safe from the Guardians. Failing to keep her from suffering alone.

Failing to keep her from a century of agony. A century of torture.

Failing to keep the people we loved alive.

Failing to keep myself, so she could at least feel like she still had a friend.

…See? I’m not brave enough. I am crumbling at the thought of having to go through a _field_. An old field.

***

No, no more.

It’s just a field.

None of these Guardians will wake up. They’re just scrap metal now. So get a grip. You helped Zelda seal Ganon. So, this is safe. It’s just a field. You won, in the end.

…After Hyrule paid what price, though? After Zelda paid what price…?

No, stop it. You won. It’s done. It’s all done. This iteration is done.

There, the stable is behind you. It would be cowardly to turn back now, truly.

It hurts though, it hurts so much. The heaviness feels like a slow sword now, pushing through me. My heart hurts…

…There. It was there. Right in that swamp over there. That’s where she saved you, where you couldn’t save her.

But see? Just a swamp—

Did that Guardian move?!

…Calm down. Just a trick of the light. They’re all silent now. Just scrap metal.

I pulled you out without even thinking. Am I really that jumpy?

You were almost destroyed here too, come to think of it. Your blade was chipped so deep you were nearly cleaved. It took a hundred years to repair you, just like it took a hundred to repair me.

It feels weird to think of how many heroes have held you before me. And how many will need you in the future, if this cycle of destiny continues forever. I guess you’re just as trapped as I am.

Is that Kakariko Bridge up ahead? Must be. That’s where she and I ran through, after coming off Mount Lanayru and finding out from the Sheikah that The Calamity had unfolded. That’s right, we were coming through here because I thought the Fort might protect us, and Zelda could be safe at my family’s house in the village—

Is that…

Am I remembering from a photograph?

I can’t be… there were no photos from between the Spring of Wisdom, then when I held Zelda in the forest, to where I fell at Ash Swamp.

But I remember… I remember that whole day…

I remember how even once she picked herself up out of my arms, Zelda wouldn’t let go of my hand. And how even though she had just found out about the Castle, about King Rhoam… she was still brave enough to follow me to my house, and I lied to her that I could protect her there.

And I remember… that old house in Hateno… it _was_ mine before The Calamity… it was… empty most of the time… yes. Almost always empty, even before Ganon… I guess my dad would have been working with the Knights… but what about my mom…? Why don’t I remember my mom ever being there…

…It’s no good. I still can’t picture either of them. I don’t remember them. I just remember… I used to live in Hateno Village, in that house, and that the house was always empty after I got called to the Castle.

…I need to tell Zelda, I need to get back to her right now. How will she react when I tell her? This is the first time I’ve been able to remember something on my own…

What does it mean?

***

Argh! I raced back here just to get cold feet outside my own front door? Why am I so nervous to see her all of a sudden—

Oh my Goddess. What is that smell?

…Meat pie? Hm, I smell pumpkin, too. And something piquant… Goron Spice? Jeeze, I’m drooling! Must be the neighbours having a feast. I’m jealous. I hope Zelda doesn’t mind if I go a little overboard in the kitchen tonight, I’m hankering for something gourmet now—

Wait, the smell is coming from in here? What is—

“Link! Oh no! You’re home so early, I—oh I wanted to surprise you, but it’s not quite ready yet, and I can’t figure out why the pumpkin stew is so runny, I’m just no good with this stuff…”

Zelda’s making all this? Why?

…For me?

Goddess damn it! Why can’t I get the words out? Why are they all crammed in my throat? I just—all I want to tell her is it smells amazing, and she’s amazing—

“Nn…” Nn? _Nn_?! That’s all I can manage? I’ll just have to sign:

_What is all this?_

Crap, that came out wrong! I’ve hurt her feelings—

“Oh, I’m sorry Link. I’ve just made a mess of the kitchen and your whole house smells like Goron Spice. I just thought… I thought it would be nice to have some warm food ready for when you got back…”

_I’m not mad at you. It came out wrong. I’m just surprised. Why did you do this?_

Arrrrrgh!!! I can tell she’s having trouble following all of my signing. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I’m so nervous right now it’s making me clumsy.

Okay, try again, slower this time, so she doesn’t keep thinking I’m angry with her…

“I’m sorry… I still don’t understand… are you mad? Because it came out wrong? I’m so sorry. I know the stew might be no good, but perhaps the prime meat curry will still be edible…”

Screw it. I can’t take the look on her face anymore.

There. Is a hug clear enough?

Oh boy, I can tell I’ve shocked her. She’s so tense.

“Y-you, you’re not mad at me…?”

I know she can feel me shaking my head, ‘cause it’s right against hers... am I making this hug way too long and weird? Yup, I’m making it too long and weird. But if I pull away now, she’ll see how red my face is…

Huh? Why is she relaxed all of a sudden? Is… she’s hugging me back?

“I’m so glad to see you again. I didn’t doubt you could handle whatever errand you had to run, but I was… I can’t help but be worried. Even though there’s no more Malice. I guess I’m still not used to peace…”

Did she… she really did this for me? She was looking forward to me coming back? Why?

…I’ll have to let her go so she can see me signing—

What the--? Is that a dog? It just barreled through the front door like it lives here—

“Erm… Link… there’s another thing I have to apologize for—I would never _mean_ to bring a dog in here, it’s your house after all, I would never do something like that without your permission, but I was out on a walk the day after you left and I found him, he was all dirty and looked so hungry, so I gave him a piece of goat jerky, just one, but he hasn’t stopped following me, he doesn’t even have a name yet—”

_It’s okay. It’s fine._

“What do you mean?”

 _Zelda, it’s okay. The dog is adorable. He’s welcome here. I’m glad you took care of him and that you had company while I was gone_.

This time, I can see, she understands.

Oh. That smile.

Does she have any inkling of how that smile makes me feel?

Hot, my cheeks are hot… she’s gonna see…

“Oh! The curry! I hope it hasn’t burned…”

Should I help her? I don’t want to get in her way… heh. Seems like she has a handle on everything for now. I still can’t believe she went through so much trouble just for me. I would have been happy eating anything… definitely anything she cooked for me…

I should go wash off, I must smell awful.

What a cute doggy. Hey little guy. Do you like chin scratches? Those are quite the eyebrow fluffs you’ve got there. Can you even see through those? Haha, you remind me of Hestu. I’d better not let Hestu know he’s got a canine counterpart.

…Although, he might think it was pretty funny. You _are_ an extremely cute doggy, after all.

Ah, I’d better go get cleaned up, then I’ll check again if Zelda needs any help.

***

_That was THE BEST. I’m stuffed!_

“You really liked it?”

 _I loved it. Just what I needed_.

Heh, I’m glad. She seems really happy, now. I’m not sure why, other than she should be proud of the meal she cooked. The fruitcake at the end was unreal!

“Thank you for bringing me back a Silent Princess. Doesn’t it look lovely in a vase on the table like this? Though, I do think it suited you well, in your hair… oh, erm… I don’t mean to lecture you, but you promise you didn’t transport using the Shrines? Well, it’s clear you’re alright anyway, but…”

_No, I promise. I just walked or rode Epona._

“That’s good. Thank you. I just need a little more time researching why they’ve begun shutting down. I’m sure you would be fine, but I get so worried when I think of what might happen if your Travel couldn’t be completed properly…”

_I understand, I’ll be safe._

I do get up to some pretty stupid stuff sometimes. I really have to be careful I’m not making Zelda worry so much.

She really does seem to be a in a good mood now. I’m glad…

…I should probably wait till tomorrow to tell her what I decided while I was away. I can tell her then that it’s best if she just goes to Kakariko. Actually, the more I think about it, it is a good idea all around. I can see Zelda and Paya becoming best friends quickly. I know Paya would love to hear everything Zelda could teach her…

I can see Zelda being happy, with a girl that feels like her peer. I’m sure they will have way more in common than Zelda would have with a messed up ex-soldier who can’t even string a sentence together.

She’d be able to have chats, real conversations with Paya. No missed signing, none of my awkwardness. I’d be so happy if she got to live a life like that.

Oh no… were my thoughts showing on my face? Zelda looks put off all of a sudden…

“Ahem… did you… um… were you able to do the task you needed to do? The errand?”

That’s right. I gave her some dumb pretext about why I needed to leave. I couldn’t even think of a good lie even though it was obvious me being vague bothered her a lot.

But I didn’t want to burden her with the truth.

_Yeah, it’s taken care of. Don’t worry._

“That’s good…”

She really seems troubled now. Did I do something wrong? She tells me she finds me hard to read sometimes, but _she’s_ the one who’s hard to read. She told me that we were getting much closer, having long conversations, right before the Calamity. But I guess I ruined that, too.

_Is everything alright?_

“Hm? With me? Yes, everything is fine…”

_But?_

She’s hesitating… maybe I should just drop it—

“Oh, Link, I must apologize yet again. But I have to ask… are _you_ okay?”

Huh? Me…? Can she…

I knew it… I’m not brave enough. Not strong enough to totally hide it. And she’s way too smart to be deceived.

“Link…”

Why… why when she holds my hand like this… do I feel like I might cry?

“…Before the Calamity, you told me… you shared with me that you felt you always had to be strong enough for everyone. You had to be so strong that no one would ever find a reason to doubt you. And… I know you had to be strong enough for the both of us. I would have never made it… I wouldn’t have survived if it wasn’t for you… after all, you’re the reason my powers… erm...”

Oh, Zelda. Why did I think I had you fooled? And…

Wait… why are you all red?

“Even though I think it… I think you don’t want me to be talking about it like this, and I don’t… I never want to make you feel uncomfortable. But Link, I need you to know that I am strong enough now.”

Ah… there it is. She’s bringing it up before me.

Zelda, it’s okay. I _want_ you to go, so you can be happy. It’s okay you don’t need me anymore. I know I’m like a ghost. And I know you’re strong enough to be on your own. You’ll be just fine. Even though…

My heart…

“…I am strong enough for the both of us now, too. You’re no less strong, or courageous, or inspiring than you were… in fact, I never feel as safe as I do with you, Link. But… what I’m trying to say is… if you need to lean on someone, I’m strong enough. I want to hold you—I want to hold you up, just like you held me up when I felt like I couldn’t go on. I owe you everything. Hyrule owes you everything. So, lean on me, if you need to.”

…Zelda…

“Please, Link. Let me take care of you, even though I can never repay you for the way you’ve taken—the way you’re _still_ taking care of me.”

Her grip… she’s holding my hand so tightly… Zelda…

“You… it’s just that… you look so alone. Even when we’re together, you just look like you’re still taking it all, alone. I’m here. I want to be here, Link… you aren’t alone…”

I…

“Oh, no. I’ve said far too much, haven’t I. I didn’t mean to cross boundaries like that. I’m so sorry.”

“…” Please. I just want to be able to say it out loud…

“It’s okay, Link. I’ve really troubled you enough already. First, accidentally adopting a dog while you’re away, then destroying your kitchen… now, you must be exhausted from a long trip and here I am, lecturing you, rambling, putting words in your mouth…”

 _Don’t be sorry_.

“You’re too nice—”

I can’t sign this one-handedly, I’ll have to let her go…

 _Zelda, stop. Please. You’re amazing_.

“I… huh? Oh, no, you don’t have to sign it again, I think I understood but… I don’t understand. Why would you say that, about me?”

_Because it’s true. And you have no idea how much tonight has meant to me._

“Oh… um… it wasn’t that special, I just thought…”

She’s blushing again?

…Beautiful.

 _I know you’re strong. So strong. And, you are really good at taking care of people_. _I feel very cared for._

…! She’s… going to cry?!

No? …she’s smiling?

“Thank you. And you’re right. I shouldn’t have apologized because... I do mean what I said. I want to be in this together, with you. I know you may need time, I will never hold that against you. Even if you never remember. What I am sorry for is if I’ve ever made you feel pressured to regain your memories. In fact, I can’t believe that you hardly remember me and yet you’re still so wonderful to me…”

…Wonderful?

Oh! That’s right! How could I have forgotten? I got so side-tracked by the food…

_Zelda, I remembered something today. On my own._

Oh, Hylia. How am I supposed to keep it together when she looks _that_ excited? Nope… now I’m grinning like a fool, too.

“Really? That’s… that’s incredible! Oh, Link! I’m so happy for you! All I want is for you to be happy—err—I, um, I… I’m just so happy you’re healing. Yes! So happy!”

_I’m happy too._

“May I ask? What was it? What did you remember?”

_I remembered that I used to live here, that this was my house before… Before._

No need to fill in the rest, I don’t want to relive the worst day of our lives, not when she’s smiling so widely and her eyes are shining like that.

…But maybe… I’ll tell her everything later.

Maybe I’ll tell her where I really went. Why I thought I wanted to be alone.

…Maybe I’m just brave enough to trust that she really does want to share this with me…

“Yes, that’s right! I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. When you said you bought this house and had it renovated, I could just tell… you didn’t know. And I didn’t want you to feel… I thought if you were meant to remember, you would, when the time was right. And now you have! I’m so happy for you.”

Heh. So. She’s been protecting me too.

Maybe we should just…

I don’t think it’s for me to suggest she move to Kakariko Village. I think…

…Would it really be so bad, if we just continued like this? Protecting each other?

…Perhaps with a bit more honesty, though.

***

I can’t believe she’s refusing to let me sleep on the floor anymore. Can’t a man decide where he sleeps in his own house? Even if it _is_ on the floor?

Although doggy Hestu seems to enjoy sleeping in my old spot. I’ll make him a proper bed tomorrow. Is that him, snoring like that? Cute.

…Still, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that sharing a bed with her is… well, it’s nice.

I thought I’d be way too nervous to ever fall asleep with her so close, but I’m already getting drowsy. And she said I should sleep in as long as I want tomorrow…

I really hope I don’t have another night of nightmares. It would be awful to wake her up with my screaming when she’s this near. But somehow…

I think it will be okay.

So thoughtful. So smart, so beautiful, so brave, so wise, so strong.

I’m… lucky.

I’m lucky I have such an amazing protector.

She’s so still, she must already be asleep. I guess the stress of all that meal prep tired her out. She really was frantic. Adorable.

I’m so sleepy... but… I want to stay awake just a little bit longer. I want to remember what this feels like.

Because… it’s not quite as heavy, now.

It’s okay if I do this, right? It’s just our pinky fingers touching. So cute, that she sleeps with her hand on the pillow like that.

I think… yeah. I can.

“…Thank you, Zelda.”


End file.
